Even as I am publishing this, i am going back and forth over one other idea I had planned to include. The primary joke here is that management can make what we feel are unreasonable demands that seem to defy logic. From the 50,000 foot level, it does seem as if we could work with team members and get all delayed projects to catch back up to the original due dates. However, team interaction and delay reasons are usually complex and not easily corrected.
My original notes for this said we could make projects green by bribing the team that generates the reports. I almost used that in panel 3. However, then I am proposing two silly options to achieve the management goal instead of one real option and one silly.